X6

i feel like i'm going to scream.

I Stand Corrected

"evil feasts on human lies."


i feel like an irresponsible ****.
i lost the money.
it wasn't alot. but still.
it like, set me off in a whirlwind.
i shouldn't be handling money at all.
i feel so stupid.
im just so angry with myself.
i don't even care about the money.
its just money.
its just. first of all. i was supposed to save that money.
second of all. i should have stored it properly XPP
and thirdly. i just feel dumb. it was a stupid thing to happen.

...
guess its time for a vacation.

mouse quit the job yesterday.
disappointment. XP not like she cared. i couldnt even tell my sob story :/ XPP whatever ill be gone soon.
the boss changed. absolute power, corrupts absolutely eh.

BEEP!. im just so upset about this its stupid! >:[
i cant turn this one into a story.
im just venting. im so mad at myself.
i had such a good day tho.
and i work in the morning.
my msn doesnt work and the internet is being dumb. XP it wont load pages properly.
i downloaded a game last night. but XP i go to do like, the first thing, and it closes the game. its dumb XPP. wutever XD maybe i should buy the ACTUAL game. well :P p2p has a price.
i think i might spend the twenty-40 bucks.
... XP if i get the money. itll prolly b last on my to-do list.
or if i dont LOSE IT when i GET IT.
XPP

well. XP at least i didnt cry over something so assinine.

work in morn. should go to bed. XP get my six hours.
maybe ill change this later. so it sounds more classy :P i doubt it tho.

although i didnt mention.. i prayed for you that day.

"old times always sound so bad. the calendar was the saddest thing, that i ever read."
"I hope you always know. that youll ALWAYS be the LIFE OF THE PARTY."



Mouse traveled down the lane, ducking and hiding from fierce james (Mouse's brother) to see dear Grey Matter. this day was spent with fun and games, like snakes and 'adders+ mortal combat on the sega.
and one game Mouse is a sore loser about. Mouse doesn't like this game..
It's the bug game.
you know.
where you tickle.
and pinch.
and take embarassing pictures.
or make the other feel bad for amusement.
or. well. the list goes on XP.

and then the second part of thsi game.
is the victim. either enraged or in a fit, does something back.

then a cycle begins.

until one, (usually the victim) gets SO ANGRY.
or cries.
or something rly dramatic happens.

and the game ends.

.. sometimes.

XP .
this game is fine.
rly.
in.
VERY GOOD.
MODERATION
>>...

.. i think we all need to learn some limits tho.

ANYWAYS.....
>>
<<
..

you see.
Mouse(trap) is too impulsive sometimes.
and.
Mouse bit Grey Matter. Which probably wasn't a very smart idea.
actually.
it probably was a very bad one.
:/ Mouse shouldnt bite people.
do unto others as they unto you.
or something.
so.
if Mouse bites people.
xP Mouse will get bit back.
or somethign worse will happen.

:/ games. have rules.
for a good reason too.
so that game... is not advised to play often.

... not when you're a mouse.


.... and your trying to wrestle a lion.

This Time, Its the Same Old Story

"seeing you cry makes me feel like saying sorry"

This mouse.
is dramatic
blows things out of proportion
is paranoid
sometimes has depression issues (self-diagnosed XP its mostly self esteem+anxiety)
changes its fur color too much
makes bad choices
will listen
needs a hug sometimes
wants to be told everythings gonna be okay every once in awhile
is trying to be open.
was planning on showing more affection (XP i think it kinda failed so far... )
thinks too much
wants people to be able to open up to mouse.
wants to make everyone happy.

takes forever to get ready XPP
wants to be perfect
probably wears too much makeup.
(i think sometimes i cross the line between radical and slutty XP )
always forgets SOMETHING.
likes lots o pickles olives and mayo on a sub :P
doesnt like the taste of straight white milk XPP
likes crappy bands XD
is a morning person aproximately 1-3 times a month :P
gets cold in movie theatres.
XP heak, is always cold.
fave color is hiding. :P possibly yellow. but probably secretly green.

(-!! IS FLAT FOOTED ON HER LEFT. CREATING A LIMP. !!-)-->&gt; thank you :P

oh hey. :P
you know what. somebody asked me about that .
and for once.
it didnt bother me :) .
and it was the second time i told him.
:) but . it didnt bother me at all. i think it was the pure fact that he asked
:PP well, he asked if it was okay if he asked about it XD .
:P i read this thing awhile ago, about how, like... the best touch this person has felt.
and. this one girl. made this realization. that hers, were all when the guys asked permission first.
made sure it was okay with her. and just, to be given that opportunity made it better.
and i think thats sweet.
:P though. personally. i havent decided :PP
id say %80 percent of the time thatd b true XPP
:P

everything looks perfect from far away

i'll be your lampshade

:/

this mouse was eating fromented apples at a festival recently. awhile ago i guess.
and. right now. it's started to trouble me. I watched this movie today. called "Sex and Breakfast".
it is BAD. but i still liked it. :P . also, the beginning has a deep moment.
ANYWAYS.



theres this Mouse. and a Mouse friend. [meaning a friend of Mouse]. and there was Grey Matter and his best bud, and the Mouse friend was his friend mainly. and this Mouse friend, had her current love there. but GM and his bud had to go before the apple eating began. and. this Mouse friend. was bloated :/ . even then.


if a girl kisses a girl. out of curiosity. or whatever reason.
and if this girl has a boyfriend. and he saw it. and he "O.K.'d" it.
its okay right?...
:/
then. if at a festival. the other girl kisses the first girl. is it okay still? :S
then. if after the first girl's MAN is gone. the other girl gives a few pecks. while bloated.
:' whats happening now...... :(


so. Mouse. and this Mouse friend. were talking. :( the Mouse friend was sad. about the MF's boy on the dock with MF's other friend.

and Mouse consoled her.

:'
then.
the Mouse friend said. that.. one may like Mouse(trap) more than a friend. :S

now. Grey Matter hasn't heard. because. Mouse isn't sure if it's none sense that can be pushed aside for now. or that the Mouse friend might have changed ones mind.
:/
Mouse has no desire for the Mouse friend.
Mouse just wants a friend.




:(
(update, Grey knows, but its still nonsense to be pushed aside)

everything looks perfect from far away

the quiet things that no one ever knows.

well the last four days. not much happened :P so i think we're caught up. basically.


at least pretend that you didnt want to get caught.

so Mouse

everybody laugh, everybody sing, "its over"

so i'm still a little behind. XP we continue, at 6 days ago. :P
kill off the king, kill off the queen..


Mouse started the day slow. knowing it to be somewhat a repeat of the day before. the difference was. He had his sturdy rock. his Grey Matter. so of course, it should be a little easier.
but all day, mouse avoided the cave. When it came time to venture in. Mouse made it inside the mouth again. but the fear took hold again, and hurriedly he said to Grey Matter, "I can't do this, please, I don't want to be here." and again. he ran away.
sitting within sight of the cave, they sat. GM telling mouse how easy it should be, and asking why he couldn't do it. And as M shed a tear in his confusion. Grey started to say how "you don't have to do this."
but mouse knew. mouse knew what had to be done. and. really, it shouldn't have been so hard.
and ever since the day before, M had been kicking himself. and now so, even more.


the next day. mouse told Grey that he would just be out at work.
which was true.
except.
Mouse had to try one more time.

singing tunes to keep his mind busy, M marched right in and the two that were there, they were smiling and laughing at a joke. Reassured, Mouse smiled and stated the business he was there for. suddenly a solemn/serious look flowed across the ones face, and the other disappeared into some other room. :S M became nervous but the smile was still stapled to his face. and realized :P all he could do today was talk, which made things easier. but. :/ now he also realized he'd have to come back, they needed him to talk some more people. and maybe do tests! :( he'd become a LAB RAT.
but on the way out, Mouse was laughing. because. what a silly mouse :P.
makin such a big deal outa everything


typical rodent.

the perfect crime

tis Mouse(trap) here.
jus gonna babble a bit.

today was the first time in awhile (that i noticed) that, well, that i didn't feel like jumping in front of moving traffic. or doing something stupid enough that could seriously injure/kill me. :P today was also sunday. which i spent part of my morning waiting at a bus stop until realizing it wouldn't come XP.
and mann do i have busy week. It's the busiest time of the year, lots of work. Only lasts this week tho. well. and campers going through till the end of summer XP

oh, and i am working on getting a pic of lil ol' mouse up there soon. :) featuring, Grey Matter <3>:)

right. may 08 XP well, i am SO glad that i journeyed to "Over The Hill" at the beginning of this month.
IOU here was in a slump. :/ . that trip really fixed things up :). i saw my sunshine.(who is an ACTUAL dog) i really missed her. And who knew a mouse could play billiards! XD well. this one can't .. but I tried for the first time :) . saw a hylarious movie. but most importantly. i caught up. and i got away for awhile. which is tough. but so much nicer when you go back :) .
XP the first part of my trip was borring. T'was at Anna Faye's for couple days XP it sucked, but other than that it was refreshing.

ANYWAYS. May. well. and June. aherm.
>>
<<>>
<<
that seems pretty bad.
:P need some prozzac or somthing lol
umm.
thats it?

SNAP. mouse(trap).


(TYPOOO :P turns out that may wasnt recorded. so i consider it false. only june :P )

this is something i have to do for myself.

Five days ago. almost a week ago. I watched the late twilight twist back into brightness. Never have I witnessing such a thing, I played with time for four hours.
Coincidentally, since the cold winter months ended in July, it was my first visit back to the sea. Though I cannot swim (and never have), I did not cringe as the cold water hit my feet, but embraced the waves.
but it was Three in the afternoon, And after only almost two hours of my new found
____, the stars were out. The Mouse marched home.



When the sun rose. Mouse knew what he had to do.
The ocean did not come without a price.
scared and fragile. Mouse journeyed deep and was almost there.
but terrified, the mouse hid behind the truck. and sat.
inside the mouse shivered, and panicked. Though, on the outside he was silent.
finally. after a half hour of waiting. He plucked the courage to go inside.
but at the mouth of the entrance, it was silent. but being a mouse. even that scared him.
Mouse(trap) turned tail and ran. He ran wildly away, and collapsed out of breath on the dirt.
Wallowing in his sorrow he sat again. Ashamed and alone.
Mouse trailed home, sulking. but sleep flooded easily as he whispered to himself, "i just want a hug..."

change your lover.

"nothing's really wrong around here."

So, heart pounding, hands shaking. He jumped into a vast new world awaiting him. With the click of a mouse(trap), it was set. He knew what might await him, yet at the same time, fear and adrenaline taking grasp of his throat. for the unknown. He knew that there was no turning back. There were only sidesteps, which he wasn't about to chance upon. Head held high, he set out creating a home in this new world. A light that would beckon forth [hopefully] growth and self-realization.
As if reborn. M awakes confused, and not knowing anything. Only surviving on instinct.
Opportunity takes hold.

With this new world. He was given a new name. mouse(trap) IOU.




I am "M".
i like pants .. and shoes.
imma REAL MAN. :) :P

this will be something.
this will be change.