i was just thinking.
i expect so much out of things. and so i always get disappointed.
and so maybe if i started to expect to be disappointed more often.
i would have a better time.
point in case.
i hate birthdays.
i hate my birthdays.
and Christmas too i guess.
for one.
my birthdays always suck.
and i never had good parties.
and i never had alot of friends.
and nobody cares about birthdays.
so i learned not to care about birthdays.
i learned to try and not care about my birthday.
because i hate it.
i hate the holidays.
and i'm probably going to get really depressed around christmas time too.
and it's going to suck.
because it always does.
my family is annoying.
someone died today.
some kid didn't come home from his friends house till an hour late. and it was dark. and we live on the west side. FUN.
and i don't like gifts i prefer gestures .
gestures CAN be objects. but i just think they have more meaning.
sometimes not as much thought. but more meaning.
at least. what i consider a gesture.
gesture
Noun
1. a movement of the hands, head, or body to express or emphasize an idea or emotion
2. An act or a remark made as a formality or as a sign of intention or attitude: sent flowers as a gesture of sympathy.
or in what i'm thinking.
as an attitude of appreciation or generosity.
i think it's different.
or in what i'm thinking.
as an attitude of appreciation or generosity.
i think it's different.
and i should go to bed. i have to wake up early.
my mood.
UHG.
-mouse.
4 comments:
you actually read that.
and you're crazy.
i'll be inspired,
and i'll write a masterpiece.
thank you,
thank you.
so,
you changed yourself, just to adapt to your surroundings.
i ..
its just, kind of sad.
' and nobody cares about birthdays.
so i learned not to care about birthdays. '
but maybe caz you hate it, your bday, its diff. you hate it.
did you know the person that.. died..
gestures? thrusters?
i'll buy you something, and you'll like it.
but you probally wont.
of COURSE i read that :P
you will.
i tried to change myself to be a bit happier. :PP i still get disappointed lots. because i haven't mastered it.
:P even though i hate my own birthday. XD i still have to be excited when it's someone ELSE's :PP
just because it's fun. :) and it makes me happy when people are excited (when they love their b-day) and :) i like seeing people happy.
i don't think i knew the person.
he was my uncle herb's son.
XP ironically his name is herby...
cough.
XP my g-ma says it was probably an overdose on drugs.
my mom says probably a heart attack .... as a result of drugs XP
and i'd like it. :)
because. it's from you.
:P and you took the moment. to think of me.
even hand-me-downs. or spur of the moment things.
i think they're just as wonderful.
(LOL :P looks at green shirt mouse is wearing >>... <<.. :D IRONIC )
:PP i feel weird when people spend their money on me. because i know they could use it. and i know i don't NEED anything.
not immediately.
you don't need to buy me anything.
the intention is beautiful enough :)
XP and you were probably right.
(some things just stick with me.)
i think i might have a problem saying thank you :P
it never seems like enough.
you're like tess,
she dosn't like having money spent on her,
and i know that i could spend my money on myself,
isn't that the beauty in it all?
because i'm not spending it on myself,
i'm spending it on you.
there's so much beauty in dirt
;PP
I suppose. lol
i suppose there's so much beauty it could make you cry
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