maybe i am too attached... but i still think it's worth it.

my mom only pays attention when something bad happens.
at least that's what i think.
or when i have to ask for something.
which usually results in something bad happening XP
somehow.>>

i'm not doing so well in my classes. i've got below seventy in almost everything.
that's failing in this family. :S

i hear alot of chat.

apple is always sad or angry beneath the surface.
and talks about troubles in her relationship.
and of other men sometimes.
which i find kinda sad. well.. disheartening.

pony. her troubles with indecision.
and now it's too late to get out.
the hole is too deep.
she's got to stop worrying about other people.
about her decision.
if she picks what she thinks is best.
everything will work out how it's supposed to.

i always hear chats. about.
how this and this are going to happen.
they're gonna go to these places these times.
they  are going to do this.
see this band.
do this thing.
leave.

i just feel left out.
leaving me behind.
it's all about them.
and it is.
in reality it really is.
i don't know why i should be included.
but.
it's like, i'm not considered.
am i not expected to be around that long?
i guess. people make plans they don't complete.
but they're driven and determined people.
so maybe i'm just not going to be there.
cuz. i'm not supposed to apparantly.

two months.
a part of me doesn't want it to happen.
a part of me wishes i didn't support you.
but i have to. because i know it makes you happy.
i just want you to be happy.
but it's gonna be hard.
really hard.
it was tough.
with just two weeks.
even though.
afterwards.
you looked at me like i was a freak cuz i missed you so much XP
but i'm going to.
cuz you're like my world.
and i'm kinda scared.
because i know that there's a couple of girls.
who want you.
and i don't know what they'd do.
but i think.
two months.
maybe it would be good.
because. even though i'd be worried sick and miss you so much.
i'd know. that we could do it.
that we could get through that.
that you'd come back.
and you'd still be you.
lol funny.
how this is supposed to be in the summer.
but as soon as i heard.
just. :P i'm afraid.
:S i've never been two whole months without you.
longest was two and a half weeks.
and that was hard.
to you only cuz you didn't have video games XPP
but i just. i couldn't stand not seeing you for so long.
i just really missed you :P
caz i'm dumb like that XP


I love you.
always will.
never forget.